I don’t understand Twitter. #thereisaidit

I joined because at the time that was the only way I could read @shitmydadsays. And that shit is funny. I have 19 tweets, 5 followers and am following 14. I only know this because I just looked. Otherwise it’s as if I don’t even have an account. All my tweets are from 2009. They are trivial, so maybe I do get Twitter after all. One of them says “pc load letter,” another, “nacho belly.” Not a single tweet has a hashtag. I follow friends who are just as inactive as me, and Stephen Colbert, the Onion, the Daily Show, Barack Obama, textsfromlastnight, shitmydadsays, and Khloe Kardashian. #jokes #exceptbarackobama

I am equally clueless about Instagram. I only realized I had an account when I received a notification that someone liked one of my photos. Apparently I have 10 followers. I have one photo. It’s of a giant tub of cheese balls. I didn’t even use a filter. #rookie

I get that the hashtag is there so people can search under that topic and find all sorts of random tweets. But more often people use hashtags so specific or wacky that no one would ever search for them. Or they are using the hashtag to add to or explain their tweet, which is unnecessary. Like if I had added a hashtag #fatass to my tweet “nacho belly.” #obvious

Now people put hashtags and @’s on Facebook status updates. It’s not possible to search via hashtags on Facebook and the @ should create a hyperlink to the person in question, so these random #’s and @’s are distracting and pointless. Distracting and pointless may sum up Twitter nicely, but when that specific language is used outside of that realm it’s #annoying.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all about brevity. I doubt I have a Facebook status longer than 140 characters. And no one loves meaningless more than me. It’s the hashtag that bothers me. The hashtag that means nothing and goes nowhere. Or is outside of Twitter. #pleasestop

I’m as lazy as they come, but I refuse to let a hashtag speak for me. If I have something to say, I will say it in narrative fashion, as it was meant to be.

I realize that my blog has tags. But no hash.

#dontdodrugs