My husband’s name is Dick (insert joke here). We have endless fun with his name, but he also is known for getting sayings and expressions wrong, and they are worth their own page on my blog. I will keep adding to these.

• whatever floats your goat! (boat)
• Walgrins (Walgreens)
• that takes the case (takes the cake)
• let’s play that hot/warm game (instead of hot/cold)
• is there a baby in the oven? (bun)
• love nest (soul patch)
• don’t call the pot black (kettle)
• lobster brisque (bisque)
• let me give you some foreground first (background)
• let’s just call it by ear (play it ear)
• the suspension is killing me (suspense)
• I have a 5th sense about that (6th)
• I’m on pins and cushions! (Pins and needles)
• you were giving me the 9th degree! (5th)
• Kevin Chutney (Kenny Chesney)
• I’m kickin’ ass and taking numbers! (names)
• metropolitan ice cream (neapolitan)
• I’m holding up the fort! (down)
• this one is old hash (hat)
• don’t make me jump through loops (hoops)
• we gotta keep our ears peeled (eyes)
• whore mongrels (mongers)
• calm, cool and collective (collected)
• not the smartest tool in the shed (sharpest)
• hindsight is 40/40 (20/20)
• let’s turn this conversation 360 degrees (180)
• you are the apple of my life (eye)
• mortar and pedestal (for mortar and pestle)
• affectionado (aficionado)
• on the cuff (off)
• pandora breads (panera bread)
• we got our shoe in the door (foot)
• I can get up on a dimes notice (moments)
• Don’t twist the tables on me (turn)
• hippocratic rule (oath)
• I was bedazzled by that one! (baffled)
• She’s going condo (commando)
• Let me check with the powers that will be (powers that be)
• Batten down the hatchets! (hatches)
• I had to twist your leg (arm)
• Austin, we have a problem (Houston)
• Don’t worry your pretty little self (head)
• I didn’t throw her under the rug (bus)
• Are you speaking jibber? (Gibberish)
• I’ll be there with bells and whistles (with bells on)
• Don’t pull the skin over my eyes (wool)
• What am I, chopped meat? (liver)
• I’m 6 sheets in the wind (3)
• Egghorn legghorn (foghorn)
• Buttercorn squash (acorn/butternut)
• It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s the thought that counts
• This episode has too many back flashes (flashbacks)
• Don’t put this on your log! (blog)
• Point in case! (Case in point)
• Chester drawers (chest of drawers)
• Just for kicks and giggles (shits)
• Secret Asian man (agent)
• In memorandum (In memoriam)
• The Huckleberries (Huxtables)

• I was subconscious about that (self-conscious)
• We-We Ma (Yo-Yo Ma)
• It needs to be taunt (taut)
• I guess I struck a note (nerve)
• Conway West (Kanye)
• You’re smarter than an average nail (bear)
• Paul Rub (Paul Rudd)
• I’m not bidextrous (ambidextrous)
• I can’t picture it, but I can visualize it
• They’re fishing for wallaby! (Walleye)
• Philip Morris Seymour (Philip Seymour Hoffman)
• I may have been born yesterday, but not the day before (I may have been born at night but not last night)
• Danger, Will Johnson! (Robinson)
• Don’t look a gift horse in the eye (mouth)
• Maki-moto (caramel macchiato)
• Piece of pie (piece of cake)
• Ham cocks (ham hocks)